Well. Here I am. My last night in Honduras. Day 3 of 5 beds in 5 days. Haha.
I don't feel I have much to say right now, but I'm not so sure it's that as much as I just don't know what to say.
If there's ever something to know, it's this: don't expect what you expect. When I was much younger, my mom told me that I should not have high expectations, because then you won't be let down. And personally, for most things, I believe that's correct. But fortunately (and by the way, this topic just took a turn I didn't plan for it to take), we don't have to worry about expecting too little from God. He is a God of abundance. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills (so scripture says, I'm pretty sure it's ALL His, though). One cannot out-give God. One cannot out-bless God, for it is by God's grace that we are even ABLE to give or bless. It is by His grace that we have breath in our lungs, for the believer and the unbeliever alike.
You know what scripture keep coming to mind recently? The ones about loving God above all, and your neighbor as yourself. And in addition to that, loving other's as Christ loves us, and when we give even to the least of these, we are giving to Jesus Himself.
I heard a message this afternoon about rewards, and the pastor was speaking on how he never was a huge reward type of guy, but he's coming to realize that God enjoys giving rewards, and speaks much of them. If God likes to give rewards so much, shouldn't we be excited to receive them? First, I am NOT saying we should only do things for the rewards we will receive, but for the fact that in and of itself, the GIVING is the reward. If God is a God of giving, and a God of abundance, shouldn't we then expect MUCH of God? I know I have a tendancy to think way too little of Him. But the truth is that this God that we serve, the God that we try to fit in a convenient little box, a box that we can keep on a shelf, or in a closet, is the God that formed man from dirt. Breathed life into him. Spoke, and the stars in the sky were created. Think about it: we live on earth, two planets from the sun, not even close to the largest planet, and the sun is not anywhere NEAR the largest star man has discovered. And we in our ignorance, try to conform Him to OUR standards. Who are we? What makes us so great? I'll tell you what makes us so great. We have a great big God, who has such a great love for us, that even though we are evil, and that our good works are as filthy rags, that He sent His son to bridge the gap for us, so that we might be the inheritence to His kingdom. Wow. What a great God we serve.
Thank You, Father, for each person reading this message. I pray that You would draw them each closer to You. I pray that they would be convicted of trying to manage You into their schedule, where the truth is, You should BE their schedule. Lord, You don't want just a piece of our lives here and there; Jesus didn't die so that we could live for You on our terms. I pray that You would show us all what it means to truly be a slave for Jesus Christ, and that we would commit all of our works unto You, Father. This life was not meant for us, but for Your glory. Father, I just again thank You for this time to come before You in prayer on behalf of my friends, relatives, and those I may not even know, but I pray that I would be able to call them my brothers and sister in Christ. Thank You so much for Your mercy, for Your patience, and for Your kindness and generosity. Amen.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Day 81 2/4/12
So, on the 31st, I started writing a blog, which still hasn't finished. It may get scrapped, it may get a big overhaul, it may just get added to, but I felt God didn't want me to finish it, because the words after a while just stopped coming, and when I get to that point, I'll normally just paint myself into a corner. I feel one of the reasons He wouldn't let me finish was because there were/are things He wants to me to learn or read, or watch, but in some way, experience, something more pertaining to the subject matter. It talks about good works, and what the point, or lack there of, is of them. A day or two after starting, I ended up watching a video sermon for Francis Chan from the Desiring God conference, which played right into what I was getting at. Said post may take some time before you get to see it, supposing you'll get to see it. I hope you do, It'll be a good one, and I'm certain, worth the wait.
Through my blog, I've remembered how much I enjoyed writing in High School, although, ask any of my family about my grades and they would have never known. Yes mom, I enjoyed writing papers. I find great joy in being able to write what comes into my head, because normally it's a lot better and a lot wiser than what comes out of my mouth. And it's sentances exactly like the last one that makes it even more fun. I love to be able to laugh when I write, and if I can laugh at something I write, I know that at least one other person will as well. There have been times where I've wanted to go to college for no other reason than to expand my vocabulary. Sure, I could pick up a dictionary, but I find the writer's style very bland and boring. A - Aardvark - description of said word. Yawn. Where's the flare, the pizzaz? How do you spell "pizzaz"? What was I saying? Oh yeah. Here's annother random paragraph, although not actually random at all, because it was mentioned not too long ago.
College. Do I want to go? What would I go for? Suggesting I could pick something to go for would it be something God would use? I'm sure He would, that last sentance was mostly filler. The truth is, I could never decide what I would want to go for. What's worth the time? What's worth the money? Did Peter, James, John, Paul, Ringo, or Jesus go to college? Ringo may have, but I can't say I recall hearing about Paul attending Harvard. I have no recollection of seeing Cambridge in the scriptures, but I could be wrong. I've been wrong before, and I'll be wrong again. I promise. Sure, I could go to school for writing, but here's how I see it: I had intended to go to the upper crust of automotive service schools, it was between Universal Technical Institute in Joliet, IL, or WyoTech in Laramie, WY. I ended up not going to either. After that decision was made, I ended up working at a dealership, and thought I'd just go to Fox Valley Tech for it. I've heard their program is great. But you know what I learned working at the dealership? I have absolutely NO desire whatsoever to work on other people's cars for the rest of my life. I don't mind working on mine, or helping a friend, I rather enjoy it, but when you're doing your hobby for a living, at least, in my case, it quickly becomse old, boring, mundane. It's all the same. So if I were to go to school to be a writer, who's to say the same wouldn't be true? Sure, I could get a good job at a newspaper, but I can't stand the news. It's so sad and pathetic. I could write books. Wait, how many people out of a thousand who write books actually make money off of it? I don't know, but I doubt it's many. Personally, I like writing, but I haven't done enough of it in my life to know just how much.
I just got finished reading three amazing books, and they've worked together, and I hope they truly change my life. Cast, in order of appearance: "Not A Fan" by Kyle Idleman, "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, and "Under The Overpass" by Mike Yankowski. The Lord is really giving me a heart for the needy, the homeless in particular. I'm hoping when I return to be able to spread love to them in tangible ways.
I've been playing guitar just about every day, thankfully. And I'm working more and more to play and sing at the same time. Unfortunately the worship songs I know are difficult to sing along to, (I have a big problem with the fact that I lose timing when I'm concentrating on keeping a strumming pattern and singing, and it quickly, within a second or two, all falls apart) but right now I can more or less get through several Dylan songs, and maybe a Beatles song or two. I'm working on it though.
I've got 7 full days left on the ranch, 8 full days in Honduras, and 9 til I'm back in the States. I'd be lying if I said I weren't ready to come home. I love it here, and I will greatly miss the kids and the Beards, but as I see that my time is nearing it's end, I am seeing other needs at home. Please pray that as I transition back that I would not be discouraged by an "apathy" of fellow believers. I know I will have the feeling, and probably even unconsciously, have an air of pride in the fact that I just spent three months on the mission field. But the truth is, it isn't what I've done on the mission field in Honduras that matters, it's what I do on the mission field at home that produces real fruit, and truly changes lives.
To my brothers and sister back home, I love you and miss you all, and I pray that Jesus Christ would be working in you, and through you, to bless all the people He so loves.
P.S. Sorry for posting this several days after writing it. Haven't had much time to get online, and when I have, I just forgot to post this.
Through my blog, I've remembered how much I enjoyed writing in High School, although, ask any of my family about my grades and they would have never known. Yes mom, I enjoyed writing papers. I find great joy in being able to write what comes into my head, because normally it's a lot better and a lot wiser than what comes out of my mouth. And it's sentances exactly like the last one that makes it even more fun. I love to be able to laugh when I write, and if I can laugh at something I write, I know that at least one other person will as well. There have been times where I've wanted to go to college for no other reason than to expand my vocabulary. Sure, I could pick up a dictionary, but I find the writer's style very bland and boring. A - Aardvark - description of said word. Yawn. Where's the flare, the pizzaz? How do you spell "pizzaz"? What was I saying? Oh yeah. Here's annother random paragraph, although not actually random at all, because it was mentioned not too long ago.
College. Do I want to go? What would I go for? Suggesting I could pick something to go for would it be something God would use? I'm sure He would, that last sentance was mostly filler. The truth is, I could never decide what I would want to go for. What's worth the time? What's worth the money? Did Peter, James, John, Paul, Ringo, or Jesus go to college? Ringo may have, but I can't say I recall hearing about Paul attending Harvard. I have no recollection of seeing Cambridge in the scriptures, but I could be wrong. I've been wrong before, and I'll be wrong again. I promise. Sure, I could go to school for writing, but here's how I see it: I had intended to go to the upper crust of automotive service schools, it was between Universal Technical Institute in Joliet, IL, or WyoTech in Laramie, WY. I ended up not going to either. After that decision was made, I ended up working at a dealership, and thought I'd just go to Fox Valley Tech for it. I've heard their program is great. But you know what I learned working at the dealership? I have absolutely NO desire whatsoever to work on other people's cars for the rest of my life. I don't mind working on mine, or helping a friend, I rather enjoy it, but when you're doing your hobby for a living, at least, in my case, it quickly becomse old, boring, mundane. It's all the same. So if I were to go to school to be a writer, who's to say the same wouldn't be true? Sure, I could get a good job at a newspaper, but I can't stand the news. It's so sad and pathetic. I could write books. Wait, how many people out of a thousand who write books actually make money off of it? I don't know, but I doubt it's many. Personally, I like writing, but I haven't done enough of it in my life to know just how much.
I just got finished reading three amazing books, and they've worked together, and I hope they truly change my life. Cast, in order of appearance: "Not A Fan" by Kyle Idleman, "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, and "Under The Overpass" by Mike Yankowski. The Lord is really giving me a heart for the needy, the homeless in particular. I'm hoping when I return to be able to spread love to them in tangible ways.
I've been playing guitar just about every day, thankfully. And I'm working more and more to play and sing at the same time. Unfortunately the worship songs I know are difficult to sing along to, (I have a big problem with the fact that I lose timing when I'm concentrating on keeping a strumming pattern and singing, and it quickly, within a second or two, all falls apart) but right now I can more or less get through several Dylan songs, and maybe a Beatles song or two. I'm working on it though.
I've got 7 full days left on the ranch, 8 full days in Honduras, and 9 til I'm back in the States. I'd be lying if I said I weren't ready to come home. I love it here, and I will greatly miss the kids and the Beards, but as I see that my time is nearing it's end, I am seeing other needs at home. Please pray that as I transition back that I would not be discouraged by an "apathy" of fellow believers. I know I will have the feeling, and probably even unconsciously, have an air of pride in the fact that I just spent three months on the mission field. But the truth is, it isn't what I've done on the mission field in Honduras that matters, it's what I do on the mission field at home that produces real fruit, and truly changes lives.
To my brothers and sister back home, I love you and miss you all, and I pray that Jesus Christ would be working in you, and through you, to bless all the people He so loves.
P.S. Sorry for posting this several days after writing it. Haven't had much time to get online, and when I have, I just forgot to post this.
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