So, on the 31st, I started writing a blog, which still hasn't finished. It may get scrapped, it may get a big overhaul, it may just get added to, but I felt God didn't want me to finish it, because the words after a while just stopped coming, and when I get to that point, I'll normally just paint myself into a corner. I feel one of the reasons He wouldn't let me finish was because there were/are things He wants to me to learn or read, or watch, but in some way, experience, something more pertaining to the subject matter. It talks about good works, and what the point, or lack there of, is of them. A day or two after starting, I ended up watching a video sermon for Francis Chan from the Desiring God conference, which played right into what I was getting at. Said post may take some time before you get to see it, supposing you'll get to see it. I hope you do, It'll be a good one, and I'm certain, worth the wait.
Through my blog, I've remembered how much I enjoyed writing in High School, although, ask any of my family about my grades and they would have never known. Yes mom, I enjoyed writing papers. I find great joy in being able to write what comes into my head, because normally it's a lot better and a lot wiser than what comes out of my mouth. And it's sentances exactly like the last one that makes it even more fun. I love to be able to laugh when I write, and if I can laugh at something I write, I know that at least one other person will as well. There have been times where I've wanted to go to college for no other reason than to expand my vocabulary. Sure, I could pick up a dictionary, but I find the writer's style very bland and boring. A - Aardvark - description of said word. Yawn. Where's the flare, the pizzaz? How do you spell "pizzaz"? What was I saying? Oh yeah. Here's annother random paragraph, although not actually random at all, because it was mentioned not too long ago.
College. Do I want to go? What would I go for? Suggesting I could pick something to go for would it be something God would use? I'm sure He would, that last sentance was mostly filler. The truth is, I could never decide what I would want to go for. What's worth the time? What's worth the money? Did Peter, James, John, Paul, Ringo, or Jesus go to college? Ringo may have, but I can't say I recall hearing about Paul attending Harvard. I have no recollection of seeing Cambridge in the scriptures, but I could be wrong. I've been wrong before, and I'll be wrong again. I promise. Sure, I could go to school for writing, but here's how I see it: I had intended to go to the upper crust of automotive service schools, it was between Universal Technical Institute in Joliet, IL, or WyoTech in Laramie, WY. I ended up not going to either. After that decision was made, I ended up working at a dealership, and thought I'd just go to Fox Valley Tech for it. I've heard their program is great. But you know what I learned working at the dealership? I have absolutely NO desire whatsoever to work on other people's cars for the rest of my life. I don't mind working on mine, or helping a friend, I rather enjoy it, but when you're doing your hobby for a living, at least, in my case, it quickly becomse old, boring, mundane. It's all the same. So if I were to go to school to be a writer, who's to say the same wouldn't be true? Sure, I could get a good job at a newspaper, but I can't stand the news. It's so sad and pathetic. I could write books. Wait, how many people out of a thousand who write books actually make money off of it? I don't know, but I doubt it's many. Personally, I like writing, but I haven't done enough of it in my life to know just how much.
I just got finished reading three amazing books, and they've worked together, and I hope they truly change my life. Cast, in order of appearance: "Not A Fan" by Kyle Idleman, "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, and "Under The Overpass" by Mike Yankowski. The Lord is really giving me a heart for the needy, the homeless in particular. I'm hoping when I return to be able to spread love to them in tangible ways.
I've been playing guitar just about every day, thankfully. And I'm working more and more to play and sing at the same time. Unfortunately the worship songs I know are difficult to sing along to, (I have a big problem with the fact that I lose timing when I'm concentrating on keeping a strumming pattern and singing, and it quickly, within a second or two, all falls apart) but right now I can more or less get through several Dylan songs, and maybe a Beatles song or two. I'm working on it though.
I've got 7 full days left on the ranch, 8 full days in Honduras, and 9 til I'm back in the States. I'd be lying if I said I weren't ready to come home. I love it here, and I will greatly miss the kids and the Beards, but as I see that my time is nearing it's end, I am seeing other needs at home. Please pray that as I transition back that I would not be discouraged by an "apathy" of fellow believers. I know I will have the feeling, and probably even unconsciously, have an air of pride in the fact that I just spent three months on the mission field. But the truth is, it isn't what I've done on the mission field in Honduras that matters, it's what I do on the mission field at home that produces real fruit, and truly changes lives.
To my brothers and sister back home, I love you and miss you all, and I pray that Jesus Christ would be working in you, and through you, to bless all the people He so loves.
P.S. Sorry for posting this several days after writing it. Haven't had much time to get online, and when I have, I just forgot to post this.
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